When “Your Type” Isn’t Working Anymore

Most of us have a “type”.

A certain look.
A certain personality.
A certain kind of person we’re naturally drawn to.

But if you look back at your dating history and keep ending up in the same place…

it might not be your luck
it might be your pattern

And sometimes, the right person doesn’t look like what you expected.

Rethinking What You’re Really Looking For

Look at Your Past Patterns

Take a moment to reflect on your past relationships.

What worked?
What didn’t?

If you’re looking for something different now, it often starts with thinking differently too.

Focus on What Actually Matters

It’s easy to get caught up in preferences.

But when you really think about it, what matters most?

• how someone treats you

• how you feel around them

• whether you feel comfortable being yourself

Dating outside your type doesn’t mean lowering your standards.

It means focusing on the right ones.

Keep Your “Must-Haves” Simple

Long checklists can quietly limit your options.

The more boxes someone has to tick, the smaller your pool becomes.

Instead, focus on a few core things that genuinely matter to you.

Everything else can be flexible.

Opening Yourself Up to New People

Change Where You Meet People

If you keep going to the same places, you’ll meet the same types of people.

Try something different.

• new environments

• new activities

• new conversations

Even small changes can make a big difference.

Be More Open in Conversation

Sometimes connection starts in the simplest way.

A chat.
A comment.
A shared moment.

Being open to conversation creates opportunities you might otherwise miss.

Notice Your Automatic Filters

We all have them.

That instant “no” feeling.

But it’s worth asking:

Is this a genuine dealbreaker… or just habit?

Sometimes we rule people out too quickly based on things that don’t really matter in the long run.

Stay Positive and Curious

When you approach dating with curiosity instead of judgement, everything feels lighter.

You’re not deciding someone’s future…

You’re just getting to know them.

What Happens When You Do Date Outside Your Type

Check In With Yourself

How do you feel?

• more relaxed?

• more open?

• more yourself?

That’s often a better indicator than whether someone fits your usual “type”.

Let Other People Have Their Opinions

Friends and family might be surprised.

Especially if you’ve always gone for a certain kind of person.

Listen if you want to…

But trust your own experience.

See It as a Learning Process

Every date teaches you something.

Even if it doesn’t lead to a relationship, it can still move you forward.

A Simple Way to Reset Your Approach

If you’ve got a long list of what you want in a partner, try this:

Write everything down.

Then choose just a handful of things that truly matter.

Not preferences.

Values.

That shift alone can change who you notice.

My Story

I’ll be honest - I’ve definitely had a “type”.

And I’ve also had a very long list of what I thought I wanted.

One of my big “no’s” used to be beards. I just didn’t like them.

Then I met someone online.

His photos showed him clean-shaven, so I agreed to meet him.

When he pulled up, turned to smile at me…

he had a full beard.

Not a bit of stubble - a proper beard.

It threw me for a second.

But I was there, so I thought, just enjoy the evening.

And it turned out to be a great night.

We didn’t end up in a relationship…

But we became really good friends.

And now?

Beards are very much on the list.

The Real Takeaway

Sometimes what we think we want…

isn’t actually what’s right for us

And sometimes what feels unfamiliar…

is exactly what we need

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to force anything.

You don’t have to say yes to everyone.

But staying open, even just a little bit…

can change everything

A Gentle Next Step

Dating outside your usual type isn't about lowering your standards or convincing yourself to fancy someone you don't.

It's about getting a little clearer on what actually matters to you now — rather than automatically choosing someone because they tick the same boxes you've always looked for.

And sometimes that starts with working out where you are.

Are you genuinely ready for love? Ready to date but not quite sure what you're doing? Still coming to terms with being single? Or actually perfectly happy on your own?

My free What Type of Single Are You? quiz will help you work out where you are in your single-life journey — and what your next step might be.

Take the FREE What Type of Single Are You? Quiz →

❤️ Ready for Love — What Happens Next?

If you're ready to have someone special in your life but you're not quite sure what comes next, explore our Ready for Love journey for ideas, resources and practical next steps.

Continue Your Ready for Love Journey →

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