I was chatting to a man recently who said something that really made me think.

"I can't be the funny guy everyone wants me to be."

What do you mean?

"Well, you look at dating profiles and they all say GSOH required. I don't know any jokes. Even when I do tell one, I can't make people laugh."

Aaaah.

I think we may have a little misunderstanding here.

When I say I want someone with a good sense of humour, I don't mean I expect him to sit opposite me reeling off jokes he's memorised from the Beano.

(You probably need to be over 50 to appreciate that reference. 😂)

To me, having a good sense of humour isn't about being funny.

It's about being able to laugh together.

It's telling someone about the ridiculous thing that happened to you this week and they find it funny too — rather than analysing it, explaining it away or completely defusing the moment.

It's watching a film together and both laughing at exactly the same bit.

It's remembering an old comedian and suddenly you're both quoting a sketch from 30 years ago.

It's being able to laugh at yourself when something goes wrong.

It's the silly little looks across a room that nobody else understands.

It's someone smiling with their eyes when you're telling a story.

It's laughing with each other, never at each other.

And perhaps most importantly, it's feeling so comfortable around another person that you don't have to behave.

You can be silly.

You can be ridiculous.

You can dance badly in the kitchen.

You can get the giggles over something completely inappropriate and then make it ten times worse because neither of you can stop.

That's what a good sense of humour means to me.

It's not a performance.

It's a connection.

So if you've ever read "GSOH required" on someone's dating profile and thought:

"Oh God, I'm not funny enough..."

Perhaps they're not looking for a comedian at all.

Perhaps they're just looking for the person they can laugh with.

And if you haven't found that side of yourself for a while?

Maybe you're not boring.

Maybe you just haven't met the person who makes you feel safe enough to be completely, ridiculously yourself yet. ❤️

What does "a good sense of humour" mean to you in a relationship?

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