Coming to Terms With Being Single β What Happens Next?
Perhaps you're not in the raw heartbreak stage anymore.
You don't necessarily want your old relationship back. You might even know, deep down, that ending it was the right thing.
But that doesn't automatically mean you've worked out how to be you again.
For a long time, life may have been we.
Our weekends. Our holidays. Our friends. Our plans. Our routines.
And now there's me.
That can feel freeing one day and incredibly strange the next.
Coming to terms with being single isn't about deciding you're going to stay single forever.
It's about beginning to create a life that feels like yours, whether another relationship eventually becomes part of it or not.
1. Get to Know You Again
It's surprising how much of ourselves can become wrapped up in a relationship.
Not because we've necessarily lost ourselves, but because relationships naturally involve compromise, shared routines and decisions made with another person in mind.
So here's a deceptively simple question:
What do YOU like?
Not what your ex liked.
Not what you always did together.
Not what your family thinks you should do.
You.
What would you choose to eat?
Where would you go for the weekend?
What would you watch?
How would you spend a completely free Sunday?
What have you always fancied trying?
You don't have to reinvent yourself.
You might simply need to remember yourself.
π§ When you feel like you've lost touch with you
Back to You
A hypnosis recording created to help you reconnect with yourself after a relationship and begin putting your own wants, needs and sense of self back into the picture.
2. Detox Your Singleness
Because coming to terms with being single isn't just about getting over another person.
It's also about looking at what you're carrying with you.
Old beliefs.
Relationship patterns.
Things you've learned.
Things you tolerated.
Things you don't want again.
And perhaps ideas about being single that aren't actually helping you anymore.
π Detox Your Singleness
Detox Your Singleness is a guided workbook designed to help you take stock of where you've been, what you've learned and what you'd like to take forward into this next part of your life.
It's not about rushing you towards another relationship.
It's about clearing some of the emotional clutter so you can start asking:
What do I want now?
3. Start Filling the Gaps Differently
One of the hardest things about becoming single can be all the little gaps a relationship leaves behind.
Who do you message when something funny happens?
Who do you go out for dinner with?
Who do you sit next to on the sofa?
Who do you go away with?
Who gives you a hug?
It's very easy to interpret every one of those gaps as:
βI need another partner.β
But not every emotional need has to be met by a romantic relationship.
Friendships, family, pets, hobbies, groups, experiences and even physical activity can fill parts of our emotional cup in ways we sometimes underestimate.
Explore this
4. Rediscover Your Confidence
A relationship ending can knock your confidence in ways you don't always notice immediately.
You might question your decisions.
Your attractiveness.
Your judgement.
Your ability to cope alone.
You might look at other single people who seem to be thriving and wonder why you haven't got it all sorted yet.
But confidence isn't necessarily something you suddenly wake up with.
Sometimes it's rebuilt through tiny pieces of evidence.
I did that on my own.
I went somewhere new.
I made that decision.
I enjoyed myself.
I handled that.
Little by little, you start trusting yourself again.
π§ If your confidence has taken a knock
Rebuilding Self-Confidence
A hypnosis recording designed to help you reconnect with your confidence and begin trusting yourself again as you move into this next chapter.
5. Being Single Isn't a Waiting Room
Being single can be an actual life stage β or an actual life choice.
You don't have to spend it waiting for somebody else to arrive.
There are things you can do now.
Places you can go now.
Experiences you can have now.
Plans you can make now.
You don't need to put your life on hold until there's somebody standing next to you.
And strangely, once you stop seeing single life as something you have to escape from, you may find it becomes a lot easier to work out whether you actually want another relationship.
Explore this
6. What If Part of Me Wonders Whether Anyone Will Want Me Again?
This can creep in even when you're not remotely ready to date.
Am I too old?
Would anybody find me attractive now?
Have I been single too long?
Would anyone actually choose me?
You don't have to be looking for love to challenge the idea that your worth depends on whether somebody else wants a relationship with you.
Your worth isn't something another person awards you.
π§ When your sense of worth needs a little support
Feeling Worthy of Love
Despite the title, this isn't about rushing out to find somebody.
It's about reconnecting with the feeling that you are worthy of affection, care and love β including the way you treat yourself.
7. Start Looking Forward β Without Deciding Where You're Going
You don't need to decide:
βI'm ready for another relationship.β
And you don't need to decide:
βI'm happily single and never dating again.β
There is a perfectly valid place in between.
You can simply start looking forward.
Make plans.
Try things.
Reconnect with people.
Change something in your home.
Book the trip.
Join the class.
Have dinner with a friend.
Spend a Sunday exactly how you want to spend it.
Start building a future that isn't based on the life you thought you were going to have.
Build one based on the life that's actually yours now.
β€οΈ So... Where Are You Heading Next?
As you become more comfortable with single life, something interesting may happen.
You may realise:
βActually... I really like this.β
You enjoy your independence.
Your life feels full.
You're not waiting for somebody to complete it.
If that's you, your next journey might be:
βοΈ Happily Single
Or you may notice something else.
You like your life again...
but you'd quite like someone special to share parts of it with.
Not because you need rescuing.
Not because being single is a problem.
Simply because love, affection, intimacy or companionship would be a lovely addition.
If that sounds more like you:
β€οΈ Ready for Love
And if you don't know yet?
That's absolutely fine.
You don't have to pick a destination today.
Keep building a life that feels like yours.
The rest can come later.
β€οΈ Have You Taken the Quiz Yet?
Where you are in your single life can change.
You might be healing from heartbreak, finding your feet on your own, wondering how to start dating, feeling ready for love - or absolutely loving being single.
If you haven't taken our free What Type of Single Are You? quiz yet, it only takes a few minutes and will help you discover where you are right now.
And if you've taken it before?
Why not take it again and see how far you've come?
